Some things are impossible to imagine that they were, but my English required work very long time ago. I made visits to one woman who did improve in language. Once she offered an opportunity to come to America through visiting school. I always wanted to see this country. It was appearance of hand which could take me away from a pit. I don’t know what force possessed me because I resisted after a couple of persuasions though she didn’t make strong efforts. That was in way her “come on” and mine “no”. Maybe it was another alternative road which would bring me to other circumstances if I would accepted this offer. A devil was in my soul, because I can’t take on mind why I did these negative responds.
I had it after that by refusing on asked wish to visit Los Angeles. I didn’t reject and I was in to an opportunity in 2013, which was cut by communists. And they did it in 2018 where I applied on US embassy in time when I struggle to find job, which I hadn’t since previous year. If my experience and possibilities were back then. My intention with embassy happened after what I had with Green Card lottery. I applied on it as usual. One month later, came a message without proper detail. It simply asked on check status what I didn’t due to I didn’t see reason to execute a thing with which, I thought, is all right while the State Department did relaunch of lottery. It was one of little times when I had situation identical to that the world exploded after I revealed. Seven months for waiting of nothing. It’s unlikely, I would win but negative answer is preferable to nothing. It wouldn’t help if I would begin to be nervous. I did the best possible what was writing a letter to the State Department in which I accused them in unprofessionalism. I would amazed if I would got respond. That situation caused me to US embassy, which, maybe, was available before, because there were times when don’t. However, why I didn’t think about that or any other alternative at least one year before? Why something did preventing in my mind or wicked entered in circumstance? I only was teased by promising bliss while it was always a hallucinatory oasis.
No over with the rest. Every time I rely on believe that will last, comes another one. I was writing more additions for the big book. Actually, one of them was rubbing my mind from time to time as it would be a bullet stuck in my leg which I was supposed to remove while I accepted that as fine. I resisted and didn’t see necessity but new information convinced me. I was putting else in written as it was about New Hollywood. I, as every time, still have to hope again that there were made the last additions but I understand that stream through which I flow will decide when come to a coast. The two articles have made on present stage and I’m waiting.
I suddenly began to think about other way to completing the big book and came to decision after all. No later of October will occur in nothing will change but, if it will, therefore I’ll do that few months after.
Thursday of twelfth week if I didn’t lost a count. I received access on apply on queue in some Polish center. I was supposed to make pictures of document for pass and myself which took a charming mad look with Jesus Christ hairstyle, which I have after one year of ignoring to visit a barber shop. It was fighting to put own face in a little circle. And I was supposed to do it for limited time. I succeeded in a second launch. A request didn’t pass.
Then was Friday. I had place for continuing with novella. I became hellishly exhausted with my intention immediately. I aspired to begin. I came to what will about in current lettering chapter. But I hadn’t wish to put words. Something didn’t let me to do. I knew what to write but mine inner made me without desire to do that. Certainly, I would prefer, not to there to carry on. I put writing away and I became vigor again.
One and half glass of The Whistler every Saturday. I think, it’s triple bar dose but it’s less of usual which I used in past times. I civilized myself in drinking.
The thirteenth week and, I think, I count correct. I acutely needed in relocation if I didn’t raise curiosity with checking a political correct aspect of Kubi. I did needful investigation and it made me to correct review. The old school directors are disappointing today.
I’m stopping to convince myself in looking for discovery in new ones. I did strike off of 1242 – Gateway to the West after watching working materials, which disclosed storyline. One actor says on playing real historical personage. I checked and found out that Eusebius of Esztergom didn’t betray Hungarians by helping Mongols as well as he wasn’t stabbed by a fictional cardinal whom he wanted to trap. A meeting between Bela IV and Batu Khan where the last takes out a sword, puts weapon forward and walks, he comes and makes a threat to a Hungarian king when the last calmly says in Hollywood style “Put it down. Be my guest”. I watched through these reels on how historical events got a tinseltown approach.
But was place for “suddenly”. I was astonished to recognize by accident on existence of Largo Winch III. I was flabbergasted that it’s development began large time ago and I only in June 12 got to know through checking of one iffy French movie on a language-respective film releases site. I watched trailer of arriving Largo Winch threequel, which came three days before, and it made me excited as after explosion on Trinity test. I know with no doubt, I will move to theater.
Humidity after rain. It makes me to wish autumn more. People wait summer, I anticipate cold. That land is damned. You only desire that after an empire on the east will be defeated in their failed “little victorious war” with Ukraine and they for retribution will come to bombing of de-facto autonomous region, which will be then deprived of de-jure status of nation. No other justice can be here for evil. Yeah, only from other identical wicked force.
It was understandable. I willn’t make celebration of Independence Day on freedom in this time. I will be forced to move in town for buy booze, which will make me happy for evening.
I never could perceive mentality of locals. I watched videos of people from many countries who visited and lived there and I had one hundred percent match in called things which wild for us. Why can’t women handshake with men? I never take on mind on people’s wish “with light steam” after simple shower while they, as usual, don’t think while an origin in that visiting of bath in Ancient Rus’ could deadly ended because it was heating on carbon dioxide which exaggeration could cause that fatal. And I can’t stand these multiple superstitious, which came from Ancient Rus’ as well. No odd quantity of flowers to living person or don’t handshake between threshold. I never was one of them. I’m German by origin, but I haven't much with them. I have common in worldview with the Europe and America while I as a martial artist who have learnt many techniques and on question on his style he willn’t define himself. Therefore I am a legit citizen of the world.
When I was in the USA, I couldn’t adapt to that “How are you?” is identical “Hello” and I answered on question early on though it hadn’t necessity. I didn’t see logical in this phrase though I’ve learnt that Americans are same about it. I sensed meaning of words after years. Eventually, I discovered a solidarity in many other things. So, Jack – that’s what I’m talking about and that it always was.
Dictator of communist Bulgaria Todor Zhivkov showed friendship to the big empire as it was expression of wish to make his ruling state as sixteen “Soviet Republic”. His said was only an indulging by which he wanted to receive a variable stuff for country. Nevertheless, his tactical efforts brought to that that when I was in Bulgaria in 2000, I could easily to speak Russian with anybody who was in twenties at least.
Whenever I will say denying now or it will in future, but it seems I willn’t have last trip to Italy. Either I like masochism or because it’s love. But love in what? I think, an answer is combination of everything. Anyway, I feel good that I don’t reject anymore.